Lilacs, Spring 2008

Throughout diagnosis and treatment, as well as for quite a long time afterward, and even as recently as yesterday, I found myself often hiding out: watching Law & Order reruns in pajamas, eating gummy colas on the couch. I was afraid to shower for the pain of the shingles, and ….well,…I sometimes was just plain afraid. I stayed underground like a little mole, but my community never stayed away from me.

Throughout this exhibit the messages of love and wishes for wellness are embedded in and surround some of the artworks. The lilacs were the first oil painting I made coming out of treatment, and they represent to me every email, phone call, funny card, loving touch, remedy, recommendation, and every surprise left on the stoop. The flowers kept me company and even in my haziest, laziest hours, inspired little drawings—reminding me that I was still an artist, still a woman, underneath it all . I carry those messages of love inside me forever.

My artworks are my thank-you notes, my expressions of gratitude for those watchful, respectful, loving eyes and ears and hands.